What Is A Sacred Partnership?

Sacred partnership is a rich and deep friendship between equals that brings us sanctuary, soul growth, and sizzle.

Sue Patton Thole Cited in Mystical Hours

Wayne Teasdale gives us his more expanded explanation of this quote in these words:

“Author of The Woman’s Book of Courage, Sue Patton Thole, presents the ideal of a mature relationship. Like the writings of Riane Eisler, who promotes partnership over the domination that has overtaken our society, Thole describes a relationship that has progressed beyond mere sentiment and attachment. It reminds me of the poet, R.M. Rilke’s description of the ideal marriage, in which people guard each other’s solitude. She names such a relationship sacred because it involves the spiritual life of two people who live and row together in the dimension of their inner lives, their souls. The relationship of sacred partnerships forms a sanctuary that fosters both the inner growth of individuals and outer societal growth when applied in that direction. It is a powerful and real treasure.”

The ideal of finding and then having a sacred relationship or an evolutionary partnership has always captured my imagination and my heartfelt interest. In many ways, my lifelong intention had been to find myself with a person whose spiritual life was alive and so purposeful that she too was making decisions for her life’s greater meaning through the lens of soul growth.

However, the mature or more complete realization of those idealistic possibilities for relationships are few and far between because they first had to evolve or “graduate” first! They have to move through or learn to overcome difficult and demanding stages of relationships such as adolescent romance, hypersexuality, social security, and any number of societally defined relationship models we can easily encounter in our contemporary society. (not that they exclude some of these experiences, they just are not defined or limited by them)

All too often, what is prized or expected historically has been the chaste friendship model, that opposes the more sensual and romantic connection. What I have been privileged to find is that there are,on rare and gracious occasions, there is both the “sizzle” that Thole mentions, and the dedication/devotion to spiritual growth and soul work that can complete and deepen the partnership beyond any of the usual cultural norms and expectations.

Some connections are often intense and short-lived, and serve the purpose of an important soulful learning lesson. Then they die, erode, or extinguish themselves; sometimes awkwardly, and sometimes with gratitude for the shared wisdom and experience. Some can weather the storms of ego reduction and refinement and move on in their evolutionary journey.

In my Arica trainings, there was training called “Couples for Evolution” that promotions the idea that there were levels of consciousness and intentional practice that can shape and influence our relational experiences so that we can move upward from a lower but widely condoned and familiar consciousness of “couple suffering” to a higher one that was primarily ego sharing.

Then, based on the continuation and the sharing of holy work, there is a higher phase of spiritual aspiration and definition that includes the virtues of awareness, a more enlightened approach to sex (not necessarily tantra, but sharing some of the same intention) and will focus on the central or principal desire to have their relationship continue to deepen and to become a model for a more compassionate and spiritually attuned approach to life and love…