Self Acceptance

To have compassion for yourself is vital.

Self-observation in its various forms
eventually leads to a depth of understanding

we seldom dream of.
A vital part of that understanding
will be how pure and

marvelous you essentially are.
There will be resistance to self-understanding

on the way as you see the negative parts of yourself,
but the process is worth it.

Until you learn to understand and have compassion towards yourself,
all your tolerance, love, and compassion toward others  rests on a very shaky foundation.

Charles Tart

From his book, Waking Up

Cited in Meditations for a New Age

As I see it, this is a warning against misplaced altruism. What I feel he is calling for here is a healthy and realistic measure of self-acceptance, and our heartfelt need to avoid any of the harsh approaches to a more severe and masochistic approach to spirituality of deprivation that welcomes various forms of denial and/or bodily punishment!

I first read these words many years ago, as one of the first major conferences I had ever attended was on the psychology of consciousness at Boston University in the 1970’s.

I was an ingénue in spiritual studies, as the only approaches that I had encountered were the hagia-biographies of the Catholic saints- Many of those glorified stories centered on what they had to endure-those cruel and abusive experiences and ungodly disciplines inflicted on them by unbelievers, in order to achieve their heroic sainthood.

Additionally, I had read about the various and rigorous feats of deprivation and endurance associated with Eastern martial arts-including an assortment of heroes, fakirs, and yogis etc.so that my knowledge, experience, and understanding was quite skewed.

As my path in life widened, and eventually lead me towards ministry in my 30’s, a highlight of training and refining experience came to me through the outstanding examples of spiritual integrity and humility during my studies at Shalem Institute. 

Through my studies there, and all along the 2+ years of training, I began to crack open all of my resistances to a more contemplative life that now included a generous amount of self-care, and that focused on having compassion towards one’s own progress-knowing full well the spiraling path of soul work can contain many uneasy and uneven steps towards greater self-realization.  

 As I have aged, I have softened in my approach to both spiritual direction and towards the cherished goal of “enlightenment”. knowing that any advanced states of awareness cannot come without a generous understanding of our human need for acceptance, compassion, and grace.