Worrying About Death?

Do you worry about the moment when you die? Our life is only a moment in eternity.  Think, and you will see that you have eternity behind you and eternity before you, and  between those two abysses, ask [does it matter if] you live three days or three centuries?

Marcus Aurelius Cited in the Calendar of Wisdom

There are many ways to reflect on this.

IF you take a more Eastern or circular/spiral view, then  this appears to be incomplete in its conclusions or observations given the widely accepted view of some form of reincarnation and that every life- no matter how long- serves an evolutionary purpose.

0However, when considering his words from the more linear Western view of time, then yes, you do have some randomly allotted time between the realms of pre-birth or non-existence and death, back to non-existence. So whatever will be your span. be it a brief three years or the exaggerated three centuries, could hold some meaning or at least some apprehension for you!

What comes to me as a crucial concern is not how long our lives are or would be, but the emphasis has to be on how our lives are lived, and how we choose to relate to others as we seek to identify and fulfill what we believe to be our purpose and value in that lifetime.

In my personal and pastoral experience, which includes stints or chaplaincy shifts in the ER and OB-GYN, an infant can live but a brief time, and yet that short life span can have a lasting effect on all of those who will miss them or grieve the loss of their value, or the living and loving potentials that life could hold.

In contrast, there are those who are advanced in age whose lives seem to be on “automatic pilot” and who have lived without much introspection or sense of purpose so that their 80+ years can seem to be shallow, empty, and a mere marking of time.

In these widely disparate situations, the brief lifespan was far easier to mourn and to bless than was the person awaiting their death as a long resignation about its value for him.

So I believe that Aurelius is right in his taciturn questioning that the value of our lives has little to do with the length of our lives, and much more to do with its purpose, and what we can do with the moments and years we are given.

The larger question is whether we ever arrive at our own understanding of its value, meaning, and purpose or whether we are assigned our definitions and limitations by others- be they the wishes of our parents, the clan or tribe, or the demands of the larger world of work and culture. 

As I see it, the best life we can live is one that is individuated: free from most projections, unconscious motives, and ego demands and cultural coercions. Admittedly, a rare state to achieve or to realize, and this realization can easily take a lifetime of learning experiences  and encounters with grace all mixed together to arrive at a humble understanding of oneself as as aspiring to become a truly  “beneficial presence” in our world.